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May 5th...It's Not "Cinco De Mayo" To Me...

Started by Solomon Zorn, July 11, 2017, 05:03:43 PM

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Solomon Zorn

It's an anniversary.

It was about 10:00, on a Sunday morning. My girlfriend and I were getting ready for...that's right...church. Her hair, and her makeup, weren't up to her standards, and she was getting really frustrated, so we just decided to skip it...and instead, had sex...on my parents' bed.

That was 32 years ago. It's a very significant anniversary to me, because it was the last time I had sex.

I would never call myself, "handsome," but I would also not call, myself, by any means, "ugly." More or less, judging by the few girls I have dated, "average," would probably be appropriate. At that time(1985), I still had a 7-inch dick too. But, as long as I'm going to be crude enough to mention it, I should explain, that it's a "grower - not a shower." So it's not like I could ever give someone a peek, and get laid, because a 3.5 inch soft-on isn't very impressive, even with the promise that it doubles in size - which, worse yet, it doesn't anymore(it's just slightly over 6 inches now). So, what I'm saying is, I didn't, for many years, have any physical obstacle.

The problem, as I see it, is this: unlike a lot of guys, including many of my friends, I don't feel that the idea of using some random woman, as a masturbatory vessel, is appealing. I consider sex to be such an intimate, and wonderful, sharing touch, that I refuse to do it, with someone, for lack of a better word...unworthy. By which I basically mean, someone I can BOTH be attracted to, and LOVE.

Over the years, I have met only a dozen, or so, women who met both of those standards. And only two, who..."liked me back"...enough to go out with me.

I don't care about hair color, or race, or breast-size(actually prefer smaller, when looking at porn), or most other stuff like that. I literally have only one criteria, for a physical attribute, that I can't help(for whatever fucking reason, it really doesn't matter), because it is a minimum requirement, for me to be sexually attracted to a woman, sufficiently for me to go-down on her(very, very important), or likely, even to get a hard-on, possibly even if she were sucking my dick: she has to be skinny. I love fat women, the elderly, and midgets, and would never consider diminishing them in any way, for the qualities, that I just identified them by, with one exception: all three have equal chance, of getting me aroused. Zero.

Now I was skinny, myself, until 2002, when I was put on Risperidone, for my schizophrenia, and in three years, went from(6 ft) 168 lbs, to 253 lbs. Roughly half my original weight in additional fat. And it was about that time that, at a local video store, I saw a couple of attractive, not-out-of-my-league girls. I very clearly heard their conversation, when one of them noticed, that I was looking at her: "That guy is checking us out..." To which her friend responded, "Yeah...but did you see his GUT!" Which is pretty much the point at which I stopped trying.

Which brings me to now. I have finally managed to lose, 65 lbs of the extra fat, and meet a girl, who is very worthy, as well as very possibly, not out of reach. But this fucking insomnia(possibly caused by the god-damned testosterone imbalance, that I have to take injections, every two weeks for), has left me so wobbly that I couldn't even hope, to say what I want to say to her(some off-the-scale romantic words), and has left me with unattractive, baggy, dark circles, under my eyes, that make me look even older.

So, as miserable as this insomnia is making me physically, it's this intense craving, just for a woman's touch(much more so than sex), that made cry for myself, this afternoon. I'm only posting this story, because someone should hear it, and it's not the kind of thing, that I talk to my sister about.

Laughing Buddha says, "Don't cry...it only stuffs-up your nose."
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Gawdzilla Sama

I'm monogamous when I'm married and a total slut otherwise. Works for me.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Solomon Zorn

Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 05:21:16 PM
I'm monogamous when I'm married and a total slut otherwise. Works for me.
No judgement from me, Brother. But...like I said...I put too much of my heart into it, to have "casual sex."
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Gawdzilla Sama

Quote from: Solomon Zorn on July 11, 2017, 05:25:27 PM
No judgement from me, Brother. But...like I said...I put too much of my heart into it, to have "casual sex."
Yeah, I read that and that's fine, I very seldom have an opinion of other people's sex lives.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Solomon Zorn

Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 05:49:00 PM
Yeah, I read that and that's fine, I very seldom have an opinion of other people's sex lives.
I wholeheartedly, agree. Lack of consent, or coercion(which is automatically inseparable, from ANY SEXUAL ACT, between an adult, and a child), is my only criteria for criticizing, or condemning anyone else's sexual behavior. Which, I feel, is not the same thing, at all, of sometimes expressing my opinion, by saying, "Okay...THAT IS FUCKING GROSS!"

Laughing Buddha says, "I'm SO FUCKING HORNY!"
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Gawdzilla Sama

I have missed a fair amount of leg because I didn't get an unambiguous "yes". And I've never been embarrassed or disturbed "the morning after".
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Solomon Zorn

Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 06:08:52 PM
I have missed a fair amount of leg because I didn't get an unambiguous "yes". And I've never been embarrassed or disturbed "the morning after".
Laughing Buddha says, "May your cock, being the only TRUE GOD, bless you for your discretion, and never leave you feeling ashamed..."
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Gawdzilla Sama

Quote from: Solomon Zorn on July 11, 2017, 06:13:40 PM
Laughing Buddha says, "May your cock, being the only TRUE GOD, bless you for your discretion, and never leave you feeling ashamed..."
Meh, I don't embarrass easily. I danced nude at a strip joint once on a beer bet. One bottle.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Baruch

Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Atheon

It's better to have a smaller cock because that way you can get the whole thing inside whatever orifice you're sticking it in.
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." - Seneca

Baruch

Quote from: Atheon on July 12, 2017, 04:44:20 AM
It's better to have a smaller cock because that way you can get the whole thing inside whatever orifice you're sticking it in.

Fortunately I use my hand, and it is one size fits all.
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Solomon Zorn

Quote from: Baruch on July 12, 2017, 02:43:45 AM
TMI folks
You're definitely right, but I think that is pretty much the point of this thread, in a way...
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Gawdzilla Sama

If you're looking for some safe sex, "massage" parlors are an option.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman