Author Topic: Let us Pray  (Read 219 times)

Offline Hijiri Byakuren (OP)

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Let us Pray
« on: April 26, 2017, 11:24:42 AM »
Blessed be the name of Stendarr, the God of Mercy.
He strengthens and unifies his Resolutes through his wisdom and blessings.
He calls us by day to train with sword and shield to strengthen our might; and by night to pray in his name to strengthen our souls.
He takes pity upon us, his humble servants, and grants unto us mercy.
His holy light of truth will cast out the forces of darkness and rain justice upon Daedric abominations.
Glory shall be his, forever.


Seriously, though, I would totally worship the Nine Divines if they existed. And maybe Azura. Azura's pretty cool, too.

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2017, 11:56:32 AM »
Sermon 21: verses 5-8

'Look at the majesty sideways and all you see is the Tower, which our ancestors made idols from. Look at its center and all you see is the begotten hole, second serpent, womb-ready for the Right Reaching, exact and without enchantment.'

'The heart of the second serpent holds the secret triangular gate.'

'Look at the secret triangular gate sideways and you see the secret Tower.'

'The secret Tower within the Tower is the shape of the only name of God, I.'

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI.

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2017, 12:32:56 PM »
The Possibly Proper Death Litany
Also called the Agnostic's prayer, it's from an old Roger Zelazny Scifi novel, Creatures of Light and Darkness.

Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to ensure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Offline Baruch

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2017, 12:43:58 PM »
One is free to make a creative response to the personal or general existential crisis ... but getting followers requires government intervention.  Have you contacted your Congress critter?
שלום

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2017, 12:50:08 PM »
Blessed be the name of Stendarr, the God of Mercy.
He strengthens and unifies his Resolutes through his wisdom and blessings.
He calls us by day to train with sword and shield to strengthen our might; and by night to pray in his name to strengthen our souls.
He takes pity upon us, his humble servants, and grants unto us mercy.
His holy light of truth will cast out the forces of darkness and rain justice upon Daedric abominations.
Glory shall be his, forever.


Seriously, though, I would totally worship the Nine Divines if they existed. And maybe Azura. Azura's pretty cool, too.

Azura's Star is very useful.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent,
Is he able but not willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able or willing?
Then why call him god?

Offline Draconic Aiur

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2017, 05:41:50 PM »
Hail Satan

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2017, 09:11:33 PM »
Meh. Not that the Judeo-Christian God is any better, but the gods of the Elder Scrolls universe are a bunch of dicks. With an exception of two, the Aedra didn't even mean to create the mortal realm. The one behind it tricked the other gods into giving up their power to make the world, and the other gods killed him. The Aedra are too weak to do much, and the Daedra who still have their power are mostly evil and use humans as playthings. Worship one of them, and you may get some cool toys if you're lucky, but you also get to burn in Oblivion for all of eternity.

Heck, even if you worship the Aedra and do everything you're supposed to do, some asshole with a Black Soulgem could use your soul to make a weak fire enchantment on an iron dagger to be sold for virtually nothing, and your soul will go to the Soul Cairn to wallow in self-pity. Even if you're lucky enough to make get entry into Aetherius, you've still got to be reincarnated eventually. You just can't win.

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2017, 09:15:54 PM »
Hail Satan

Don't you mean Mehrunes Dagon? Or Boethiah?

Offline doorknob

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2017, 07:24:32 AM »
reminds me of this


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Offline SGOS

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2017, 08:57:32 AM »
Oh, Merciful One, let me grovel at thy feet,
I thank thee for relieving me of contemplation,
For freeing me from responsibility,
For without that, I would err.

I thank thee for the power to grovel,
To relinquish my worth.
I thank thee for thou art mighty,
For groveling gives me strength.

My enemies are everywhere.
My enemies betray me.
I grovel that I may gain your power,
To smash my enemies in defeat.

My groveling gives me strength,
To fashion the world, the universe,
For you will reward me,
That I might grovel for eternity.

Offline trdsf

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2017, 11:08:00 AM »
The only thing I have to say about prayer is: our current political situation has made me regret that prayer doesn't work.
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning." -- Calvin and Hobbes
"Confused? At a loss for what to do? Wow, sounds like you're human. Good luck." -- Welcome to Night Vale

Offline Baruch

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2017, 12:58:50 PM »
The only thing I have to say about prayer is: our current political situation has made me regret that prayer doesn't work.

Correct, USA doesn't have a prayer ... all you can do is bribe a politician, and hope he stays bought ;-(  Animal sacrifice in paganism was like that.
שלום

Online Munch

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2017, 02:24:11 PM »
If we have to pray, I'd sooner follow homers example.


Offline Baruch

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2017, 03:18:57 PM »
If you deep inhale/exhale enough times, you will get high like on drugs ... and then black out.  Saves a lot on drug dealer fees.
שלום

Re: Let us Pray
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2017, 05:08:23 PM »
If we have to pray, I'd sooner follow homers example.



Ha! Leave it to the Simpsons to include some Escher in the background!
« Last Edit: May 18, 2017, 07:28:12 PM by Unbeliever »
God Not Found
"The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still purely primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."
Albert Einstein