I suffer daily from suicidal thoughts. I've been this way since I can remember. I remember being a little kid and always having low self-esteem, low confidence, self-hatred, and always leaning towards the negative side.
However, I think my life as an adult shows that I have sound reasons to desire death. I won't go through them all, but it involves my utter defectiveness in every aspect of my existence, from my ability to achieve the lowest of goals, to making friends and maintaining friendships, to gaining and maintaining employment, to school, to women, etc...
I don't think I suffer from depression. It is just that I can't stand who I am, and I just wish my life were over.
My favorite time is when I'm asleep. It is as close to non-existence as it gets, and I really love it. It is the utter absence of having to deal with anything or anyone in life. It is peaceful and comfortable. Life is nothing but pain from the moment my eyes open to the moment I shut them again.
Just to make things clear, I'm suicidal at the moment. Though I am very down in the dumps. I'm just posting for catharsis.