Don't you guys know how these conversations go?
Trump: Vlad! Vladimir old bestest buddy of mine..I'm looking like dog shit over here and people are dropping like flies from positions. I need to look like the biggest prick on the planet somehow!
Putin: Fuck you Donna..That's MY FUCKING job..but I'll tell you what i do..I sneak in some attackish thing, you know, kill a few babies, a few women and shit.. You bomb some base, but don't do too much because we're going to redecorate it anyway. Just knock down some old buildings and shit. I pretend to be mad at you and you look like tough guy for a few days.
Trump: Aww gee Vladdy.. You're a real chum!
Putin: No problem, but I want Urkranian whores back..