Author Topic: My secret plan  (Read 209 times)

Offline Blackleaf (OP)

My secret plan
« on: April 01, 2017, 01:06:26 PM »
Hello, guys. I have a confession to make. I am not really an atheist. I am actually 100% Christian and have been pretending to be one of you this whole time. You all fell for it, hook line and sinker. Yeah, some of you were a little skeptical at first, but I was accepted into your ranks in time. You foolish fools. I joined these forums nearly two years ago to study the arguments and strategies used by atheists. And now, I have compiled my data to create the ultimate argument to prove to all you doubters that God does exist. When my next thread comes, you won't be able to use your skepticism as an excuse to sin any more. You will no longer be able to pretend that you do not know, deep down, that God exists.

I doubt I was able to fool anyone, but April Fools anyway. lol

Offline Sorginak

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2017, 01:07:54 PM »
I understand well enough that today is April 1st. 
Religion is primitive, inventive nonsense.

Offline Baruch

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2017, 01:14:59 PM »
Hello, guys. I have a confession to make. I am not really an atheist. I am actually 100% Christian and have been pretending to be one of you this whole time. You all fell for it, hook line and sinker. Yeah, some of you were a little skeptical at first, but I was accepted into your ranks in time. You foolish fools. I joined these forums nearly two years ago to study the arguments and strategies used by atheists. And now, I have compiled my data to create the ultimate argument to prove to all you doubters that God does exist. When my next thread comes, you won't be able to use your skepticism as an excuse to sin any more. You will no longer be able to pretend that you do not know, deep down, that God exists.

I doubt I was able to fool anyone, but April Fools anyway. lol

So are you a sock-puppet for Drew, or is Drew your sock-puppet ;-)
שלום

Offline Blackleaf (OP)

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2017, 01:19:39 PM »
So are you a sock-puppet for Drew, or is Drew your sock-puppet ;-)

You are all my puppets now.

Offline Baruch

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2017, 01:21:48 PM »
You are all my puppets now.

I may have a painted wooden head, but no fisting, please!  At least we got rid of Chuckie (aka Etienne).
שלום

Offline Solomon Zorn

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2017, 02:51:35 PM »
Been having chest pains, lately. So I thought about calling my sister and telling her I was in the hospital, because I had a heart attack, last night...but then I thought better of it.

April Fools!
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2017, 03:03:29 PM »
I joined these forums nearly two years ago to study the arguments and strategies used by atheists. And now, I have compiled my data to create the ultimate argument to prove to all you doubters that God does exist. When my next thread comes, you won't be able to use your skepticism as an excuse to sin any more. You will no longer be able to pretend that you do not know, deep down, that God exists.
I'm still an atheist, but I have to admit, Christians have a few really compelling arguments.  I'm sure you guys are familiar with the Goddidit VS Naturedidit argument, but how the hell do natural forces make a laptop?  They don't.  So why would you assume that natural forces make complex, multicellular life that's at least 12 times more complex?  The math just doesn't add up.

Plus, evidence is just a matter of perspective.  You can see the universe and conclude that the Big Bang exploded itself and that organisms willed themselves to evolve.  Or you can see the universe and conclude that an Intelligent Jesus made it happen.  The winning argument is obvious.

Offline PickelledEggs

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2017, 03:17:29 PM »
I have diarrhea.
"Tell Pilate to release the files!!!" - Bill Hicks
"I have an open mind, but not so open that my brains will fall out" -James Randi
"One who truly hates himself cannot love, he cannot place his trust in another." - NGE

Offline Baruch

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2017, 07:15:21 PM »
I have diarrhea.

Hydra posts should be marked with the <sarcasm> tag from now on?
שלום

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2017, 12:30:31 AM »
bushey fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice... well we just won't get fooled again I don't. need an April fool cause I can be a fool all year long, if that's what works.

can't wait to see your extensively researched argument Blackleaf ;-)
god is never early, but he is never late either... so true, so true; but I would rather have him show up late than to not show up at all. When was the last time god showed up for anything??? uh never

Offline Cavebear

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2017, 03:54:51 AM »
Hello, guys. I have a confession to make. I am not really an atheist. I am actually 100% Christian and have been pretending to be one of you this whole time. You all fell for it, hook line and sinker. Yeah, some of you were a little skeptical at first, but I was accepted into your ranks in time. You foolish fools. I joined these forums nearly two years ago to study the arguments and strategies used by atheists. And now, I have compiled my data to create the ultimate argument to prove to all you doubters that God does exist. When my next thread comes, you won't be able to use your skepticism as an excuse to sin any more. You will no longer be able to pretend that you do not know, deep down, that God exists.

I doubt I was able to fool anyone, but April Fools anyway. lol

Happy April Fool Day. 
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2017, 07:45:01 PM »
Didn't you die in a Jack Chick Tract?
Watch my fanfilm
The Null Zone

Offline Cavebear

Re: My secret plan
« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2017, 02:53:30 AM »
The secret of a good April Fool joke lies in plausibility.  Most aren't.  Some are.  That wasn't.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead