I'm genuinely curious as to how conservatives thought this would play out.
* Gay people lobby for equal marriage rights with increasing success.
* Conservatives call them sexual deviants and claim that their lobbying is tantamount to "destroying" marriage.
* Conservatives lose the debate and gay marriage goes national.
* Conservatives stunned at being called bigots and find their "traditional values" to be poorly regarded by non-conservatives.
What other outcome did they expect?
I don't know what they actually expected, but what you described is exactly how I expected they would react.
Bigots that I know, don't consider themselves bigots. They consider themselves justified because they never considered anything else. When they are challenged, their narrow mindedness shows up as a dim light in the back of their brain. They need to react, often times by entrenching themselves deeper into their bigotry.
I also anticipated the evolution of the debate to turn out as it did. Bigots first opposed gay marriage because it was biblically wrong. When more and more people started to question that particular biblical teaching, the bigots opposed gay marriage because it would weaken traditional marriage. These first two were attempts to claim the moral high ground (who would defy god, or de-sanctify the holiness of traditional marriage?)
When both of those failed, their last attempt was to show their true colors: "We must be allowed to exert power over gays, and refuse to treat them as equals, because of our deep religious convictions."
Here they are letting the cat out of the bag and making it obvious about the bigotry of their beliefs, but just as I anticipated, they still can't see their bigotry. Instead, they claim to be acting under the direction of an imaginary 3rd party. But I think as the underlying bigotry of their position becomes more and more obvious, it will eventually lead to a moment of clarity leading to a revelation of self. It hasn't happened yet, and I don't expect it to happen to every bigot. But I believe a few who are willing to honestly self evaluate will have an experience of self understanding, and rethink their previous position.
Basically, society is experiencing a collective moment of clarity as we speak, although it's not a sudden insight. It's more like a millennium of slowly dawning clarity, resulting in a slowly evolving understanding of gays, and tilting the attitude of the collective consciousness in favor of acceptance, combined with a rejection of previous bigoted assumptions.