Author Topic: Clean your PC with Power Washing!  (Read 235 times)

Online Hydra009 (OP)

Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« on: March 14, 2017, 02:20:37 AM »


Microsoft unveils powerful new Windows 10 feature: Power Washing.
This new feature automatically downloads and installs without any user consent or notification - you literally can't say no.

What does Power Washing do?
It automatically removes viruses, malware, registry errors, viruses, worms, DNS snooping, ARP caching, and viruses.  This allows your computer to run faster and better than ever before.

How do I Power Wash my computer?
As the video shows, simply click the Start button --> click on Settings --> click on Notifications --> scroll down to "Enable Windows Washing mode" and activate the option.

This option may not display on all computers, but rest assured, it is active on all Windows 10 computers connected to the internet. This mode is on by default per the latest update, so all computers that have been accessed the internet within the last 7 days have it installed regardless of whether or not the option appears onscreen.  Its presence in the Settings Menu is just a handy way for you to tell if you've manually disabled this feature.

After clicking the button, simply fold up your laptop and gently place it in a dish washing machine or wash it by hand with warm water.  Additionally, a clothes washing machine is an approved option.

Desktop computers can also benefit from this option, though they must be washed by hand.  Simply unscrew the casing and apply a wet sponge to all internal components.  It's also a handy way to get rid of dust.

After your PC has been washed, hang it to dry for at least 30 minutes before resuming activity.  A clothes dryer is an approved option, provided it is run in low heat mode.

ENJOY YOUR CLEAN NEW COMPUTER EXPERIENCE!

« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 02:26:52 AM by Hydra009 »

Re: Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2017, 07:43:09 AM »
I got a disk with a bunch of joke programs on it back in 1987. One of them would pop up and say your screen was dirty, then go into a washing machine cycle. First it "filled" the screen (wavy distortions), then "agitating" the screen, and finally the spin cycle. Fun back then. MS must have found an old copy?
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Offline SGOS

Re: Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2017, 07:59:50 AM »
It automatically removes viruses, malware, registry errors, viruses, worms, DNS snooping, ARP caching, and viruses,..... as well as pop up blockers and unnecessary search engines and operating systems not made by Microsoft.

Re: Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2017, 09:35:54 AM »
It automatically removes viruses, malware, registry errors, viruses, worms, DNS snooping, ARP caching, and viruses,..... as well as pop up blockers and unnecessary search engines and operating systems not made by Microsoft.
And bills all your credit cards automatically.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Online Hydra009 (OP)

Re: Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2017, 11:50:32 AM »
It automatically removes viruses, malware, registry errors, viruses, worms, DNS snooping, ARP caching, and viruses,..... as well as pop up blockers and unnecessary search engines and operating systems not made by Microsoft.
The joke there is that ARP caching isn't bad, but if you put it in a list of bad things, the average user might not know better.  :P
« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 11:58:34 AM by Hydra009 »

Offline Cavebear

Re: Clean your PC with Power Washing!
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2017, 12:15:36 AM »
We need a pill that does that for the body.

BTW, I remember a screensaver app that took your existing screen saver and slowly revolved it down a drain when you turned the computer off... 
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead