Author Topic: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)  (Read 916 times)

Offline Blackleaf (OP)

Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« on: January 22, 2017, 08:55:51 PM »
1 Peter 1:14-16 - As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

God is perfectly just. This is the excuse many fundamentalist Christians use to justify the atrocious behavior of their god. This is why God needed animal sacrifices in the Old Testament, and it's why Jesus was killed in the New Testament. It's why God created a Hell, so that people would pay for their sins. Basically, God demands a sin be punished. A sin is like a debt, and it doesn't matter who pays the debt so long as it is paid.

But something has been bothering me lately. If Christians are supposed to be holy, and to live according to God's standards, and to imitate his perfect nature to the best of their ability...why don't Christians use the same system of justice? If someone offends a Christian and the Christian just forgives their offender freely, that's not justice. The Christian should withhold their forgiveness until the sin has been paid for. They should grab their pet Mittens and cut its head off, sprinkling the blood of their cat onto their offender. Only then will their sin be washed clean.

Ah. But that would only be a temporary solution to the problem. Because we're all sinful, that person would inevitably need another sacrifice sometime down the line. So the solution is simple. Either hoard cats or make a permanent sacrifice. One that will cover both past transgressions and those that could be made in the future. By modeling God's system of justice, the perfect sacrifice would have to be an innocent human who takes the place of the transgressor. And because God sacrificed himself through his human incarnation named Jesus, the obvious conclusion is that every Christian should kill him or herself in order to forgive the people who sin against them. Only then will true justice be done on earth.

Now just imagine if this same principle were applied to the justice system of a country. The United States can hardly claim to be "one nation under God" when they apply fines, jail sentences, and rehabilitations to those who break the law. When a murderer goes to trial, let the families of the victims be given the lethal injections. When a serial child rapist is put on trial, put the children who were raped behind bars. This is how true justice works. Let's make America great by making it the first nation in history to live by God's holy standards.

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2017, 10:21:03 PM »
now you're starting to sound as logical as the Bible. Did you take a class about how to write a holy book?
you and your psychosis

Offline Baruch

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2017, 12:02:52 AM »
On a related tangent ...

http://www.101zenstories.org/nansen-cuts-the-cat-in-two/

Did the kitten die for the monks' sins?  If you can give a drash then Jesus will get down off that cross ;-)

« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 12:39:08 AM by Baruch »
שלום

Online Mr.Obvious

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2017, 03:08:23 AM »
To be fair; if everytime I upset a christian he proceeds to pick up a cute kitten and slit its throat in order to spray me in blood, I'll probably accommodate my behavior not to piss him off.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 03:33:58 AM by Mr.Obvious »
E = Mc²

In the end, we are all standing in the dark,
trying to figure out why we are here.
But let us not choose one direction
without proof of where it is headed.

Check your pocket for matches
so we can observe and learn together
as fast friends and relative idiots.

Offline Baruch

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2017, 07:03:55 AM »
To be fair; if everytime I upset a christian he proceeds to pick up a cute kitten and slit its throat in order to spray me in blood, I'll probably accommodate my behavior not to piss him off.

If he then resurrects the cat ... aka makes a zombie kitten ... will you give it a hug, or run away ;-)
שלום

Online Mr.Obvious

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2017, 07:07:11 AM »
If he then resurrects the cat ... aka makes a zombie kitten ... will you give it a hug, or run away ;-)

Does the zombie kitty want to eat my flesh? Or does he want me to eat it's flesh?
If neither, I'll pet the fuck out of that kittycat.
E = Mc²

In the end, we are all standing in the dark,
trying to figure out why we are here.
But let us not choose one direction
without proof of where it is headed.

Check your pocket for matches
so we can observe and learn together
as fast friends and relative idiots.

Offline Baruch

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2017, 07:09:31 AM »
Does the zombie kitty want to eat my flesh? Or does he want me to eat it's flesh?
If neither, I'll pet the fuck out of that kittycat.

Generally it is more appropriate to pet the hairball out of a kittycat.  The meme of zombies is, they are always looking to eat brains ... so the dogs are safe ;-)
שלום

Offline Munch

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2017, 08:13:17 AM »
I always find it laughable cringeworthy whenever I see any law proceedings in america claim their country as being one nation under god, when as you say if it really followed the bibles, women would have to the property of men, gays would have to be executed for being gay, and slaves would still be legal.

That said, teaching people that the bible is just fictional stories and none of it is real, isn't that more what we should all go for, if anything the legal system overruling theocratic law is what most modern countries have now, so better to teach people the bibles just a fairy tale then tell them to commit to it 100%

Offline Blackleaf (OP)

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2017, 09:48:14 AM »
I always find it laughable cringeworthy whenever I see any law proceedings in america claim their country as being one nation under god, when as you say if it really followed the bibles, women would have to the property of men, gays would have to be executed for being gay, and slaves would still be legal.

That said, teaching people that the bible is just fictional stories and none of it is real, isn't that more what we should all go for, if anything the legal system overruling theocratic law is what most modern countries have now, so better to teach people the bibles just a fairy tale then tell them to commit to it 100%

You guys are aware that this is not a serious suggestion, right? I thought that the premise was ridiculous enough to make that clear. I'm simply mocking those who claim to follow the Bible, and that the Bible is 100% perfect. I know that Christian fundamentalists who read this will find my post absurd, which only proves my point.

Online Mr.Obvious

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2017, 10:17:44 AM »
You guys are aware that this is not a serious suggestion, right? I thought that the premise was ridiculous enough to make that clear. I'm simply mocking those who claim to follow the Bible, and that the Bible is 100% perfect. I know that Christian fundamentalists who read this will find my post absurd, which only proves my point.

It is fun to take a mock suggestion and build on it. :)
E = Mc²

In the end, we are all standing in the dark,
trying to figure out why we are here.
But let us not choose one direction
without proof of where it is headed.

Check your pocket for matches
so we can observe and learn together
as fast friends and relative idiots.

Offline Munch

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2017, 07:02:35 PM »
You guys are aware that this is not a serious suggestion, right? I thought that the premise was ridiculous enough to make that clear. I'm simply mocking those who claim to follow the Bible, and that the Bible is 100% perfect. I know that Christian fundamentalists who read this will find my post absurd, which only proves my point.

i know, but its still fun to play along.

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2017, 01:27:45 AM »
since the wild cats used to do their mating calls under my window in the middle of the night, I got no problem supplying the cats. I'll be in front of the temple next to the guy selling turtledoves. The more you sin, the more cats I get rid of; and the more money I make too.
you and your psychosis

Online Mr.Obvious

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2017, 02:59:25 AM »
since the wild cats used to do their mating calls under my window in the middle of the night, I got no problem supplying the cats. I'll be in front of the temple next to the guy selling turtledoves. The more you sin, the more cats I get rid of; and the more money I make too.

But... fencerider, ... you are a cat.
E = Mc²

In the end, we are all standing in the dark,
trying to figure out why we are here.
But let us not choose one direction
without proof of where it is headed.

Check your pocket for matches
so we can observe and learn together
as fast friends and relative idiots.

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2017, 09:47:09 PM »
Why do you wish death on Christians, we don't wish that on you?

I know some atheists who are sincere in their unbelief, they wish no harm to anyone. Then there's the atheist like you, who wants everyone who believes in Jesus Christ to be dead. It doesn't sound like the Christians are the problem.

If you want the Christians dead, you should join ISIS, become a Muslim.

Offline Blackleaf (OP)

Re: Christians Should Kill Themselves (shameless click bait)
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2017, 10:47:13 PM »
Why do you wish death on Christians, we don't wish that on you?

I know some atheists who are sincere in their unbelief, they wish no harm to anyone. Then there's the atheist like you, who wants everyone who believes in Jesus Christ to be dead. It doesn't sound like the Christians are the problem.

If you want the Christians dead, you should join ISIS, become a Muslim.

You didn't even read the post, did you? You just read the topic and decided that you needed to enlighten us with your thoughts. How topical of a Christian.