Texting in a relationship

[aitm]

My daughter is 26. Not quite a youngster anymore but just as naive as any 16 year old. Why cannot she understand that text messages are not how one establishes relationships? Her current attempt actually blocked her after they had a minor spat (more on that later *). And after she finally took my advice and cut all communications with him, found him knocking on the proverbial door a week later.

I told her, and I will let you chime in as to your opinions and thoughts.

Any guy that is not interested in actually talking to you and hearing your voice, is simply not that into you.

Any guy that suddenly interjects into the text conversation that you * “seem to be distracted, are you talking to someone else”? â€"has trust issues and this will turn into control issues, he is trying to make you defensive and make himself the victim, tell him to fuck off, shit like that is an excuse to keep you on the outside of a real relationship and within arms reach of a quick fuck, again- tell him to fuck off. So they went back and forth and he “blocked” her. I told her to stop all communications and he would call her within the week, he did, I also told her, if a guy can’t or won’t talk to you face to face about your issues, that because you don’t have issues…you’re not in a relationship…you’re a fuck buddy.

She had several spats with the guy, all involving texting, while when they are together actually laugh and seem to get along great. I told her though, that this guy is not looking for a relationship, he is looking for a woman to control.

But how prevalent is texting your girlfriend/boyfriend to you and what is your experience with it as “real” communication with the other sex?

It seems to me that texting removes you from vulnerability. There is something about being vulnerable when you are talking face to face. You have to pick your words more carefully because you don’t want to lie to someone you may want to be with, right to their face, while texting is a convenient way to avoid vulnerability by removing it and replacing it with damn near unaccountability.

Do you find yourself having more or less problems with your relationships that seem to involve texting?

[PickelledEggs]

Texting works for me. It actually is better for most people. Calling on the phone is good too, but there is nothing wrong with just texting.
It seems that there were issues beyond "not hearing each other's voice".

What did people do when phones were first introduced? "If someone is talking to you through a machine, rather than walking to your house to talk to you, they're not that in to you. If they don't want to talk to you while seeing your face, they only want you as a fuck buddy" Demonizing texting for that kind of thing is equally ridiculous, imo

[PopeyesPappy]

What is this texting you speak of?

[widdershins]

Youngsters these days all seem to have a major drama addiction.  And I mean virtually ALL of them.  Anyone under 30 seems to be a drama-addicted moron at least half the time, actually longing for the day when they were still 16 so they could get pregnant and get on a reality show for losers, their apparent heroes.  Just open Facebook for as long as you can stomach it without tossing your lunch and you'll see what I mean.  Even the political shit is nothing but hyperbole and drama.  Obamacare is going to make a gallon of milk cost $6!  Hillary Clinton killed a bunch of people!  Blah, blah, fuck me, blah.

What the fuck happened?  I used to be the one old people didn't get, not the one who doesn't get young people.  When did the world change so much that young people became so foreign and stupid to me?  I really didn't see it coming.  Young people were all idiots before I even saw the first sign that I was getting old.  I would wager that maybe you just got blindsided by that same realization.  Kids are dumb as hell.  How did we never see it before?

[PickelledEggs]

I think the issue here is the guy, and not texting in general.

[Mr.Obvious]

My girlfriend and I have days we just text and don't see each other in person or hear each other's voice.
We've been together for 5 years and looking to buy a house together so hopefully soon it'll change.
But five years with texting don't make me wary of the technology's possibly negative impact on our relationship.

[Baruch]

Texting works for me. It actually is better for most people. Calling on the phone is good too, but there is nothing wrong with just texting.
It seems that there were issues beyond "not hearing each other's voice".

What did people do when phones were first introduced? "If someone is talking to you through a machine, rather than walking to your house to talk to you, they're not that in to you. If they don't want to talk to you while seeing your face, they only want you as a fuck buddy" Demonizing texting for that kind of thing is equally ridiculous, imo

If the boy came around, daddy scared him off with his shotgun ;-)

[Baruch]

What is this texting you speak of?

Do as little of it as I can, I still have a flip phone.

[SGOS]

Texting is obviously very popular.  It's one of those things where I understand the popularity, but don't always see an advantage.  I've had people articulate advantages to texting, but none of them impress me.  The most recent was that, "With texting, you don't have to talk to anyone."  Well, yeah, but so what?  Take it to the next absurd level:  "Without a smart phone, you don't have to text anyone."

I also realize they are very popular in relationships, where you have someone special you can text, sometimes for no special reason, or just to send a brief naughty or clever message.  I get it.  I'm just not that impressed.  I usually text when I'm flying across the country, so that the person meeting me at the airport has some idea of where I am, and whether or not, I'm making my connections, so they can plan accordingly.  This could also be done by phone messages, although you run the risk of getting involved in a conversation that might distract you from catching your next flight.

However, I've seen people engaged in real time communication using text messages for 15 minutes alternating between keying messages and waiting for replies.  That I just don't understand, but I can see on their faces that they are thoroughly enjoying themselves.

[GSOgymrat]

I'm not the person to consult regarding texting. I text for brief communication of something that is not urgent. I do not want to hold a conversation via text. Because I'm typically engaged in reading or thinking about something I perceive a telephone call as one interruption but texting is an interruption, followed by other interruption... and again... and again... and again... .

[Hijiri Byakuren]

I'm with GSOgymrat here,even as part of the "younger" crowd I prefer not to engage in conversations via text. Hell, I don't even like phone calls that much; I prefer to use apps like FaceTime when possible so I can see who I'm talking to.


Titty sprinkles.