Author Topic: Pastors should read this joke  (Read 725 times)

Offline Michael M Perez (OP)

Pastors should read this joke
« on: August 10, 2016, 04:25:08 AM »
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!" - See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/religious-jokes#sthash.3K2Pr0xp.dpuf

Re: Pastors should read this joke
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2016, 10:21:11 AM »
They should read the joke? Back when I was Christian, at least two of them TOLD the joke.
Heaven is no more than a carrot on a string at the end of a tunnel; Hell is no more than a gunbarrel at the back of your head.  When we are good people for the sake of being good people, we\'ll have no further use for religion.

Offline Hakurei Reimu

Re: Pastors should read this joke
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2016, 05:18:54 PM »
The version I was told had this happen during a flood, and the rescues in the form of a man floating on a large mat of driftwood, a boat, and a helicopter.
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Offline Cavebear

Re: Pastors should read this joke
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2016, 04:26:26 AM »
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!" - See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/religious-jokes#sthash.3K2Pr0xp.dpuf

Makes great sense I suppse, but why was a deity needed there?
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!  b 1950

Offline Cavebear

Re: Pastors should read this joke
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2016, 08:37:34 AM »
OK, OK...

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.
     
      The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.
     
      Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
     
      Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!  b 1950