Atheistforums.com

News & General Discussion => News Stories and Current Events => Topic started by: Wheatthins on March 21, 2013, 08:46:52 PM

Title: The overgrown mutant rat must die
Post by: Wheatthins on March 21, 2013, 08:46:52 PM
//http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/capital-weather-gang/wp/2013/03/21/ohio-prosecutor-seeks-death-penalty-for-punxsutawney-phil-after-bad-forecast/

QuoteOhio prosecutor seeks death penalty for Punxsutawney Phil after bad forecast

~As severe cold grips the eastern U.S. on March 21, Punxsutawney Phil's forecast for an early spring is best described as an epic failure.  The prosecuting attorney of Butler County, Ohio, Michael Gmoser, wants the groundhog to pay for his flawed prediction, with his life.

Gmoser filed an indictment against Phil which reads accordingly:

    On or about February 02,2013, at Gobbler's Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.

    SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil

Gmoser said in a phone interview that waking up to snow and temperatures in the teens on the second day of spring served as motivation for the indictment.

"When he betrays us like this, something has to be done," Gmoser said.

Gmoser expects Phil to appeal the indictment.

"His defense will be he didn't know his rear end from a hole in the ground," Gmoser said.
Seriously, I bought new sandels lastweekend and have yet to be able to try them out.  Justice must be served.
Title: Re: The overgrown mutant rat must die
Post by: stromboli on March 21, 2013, 09:53:42 PM
I think there's just enough hide on one of those critters to make a pair of moccasins. Or gloves.
Title: Re: The overgrown mutant rat must die
Post by: Hydra009 on March 21, 2013, 11:44:16 PM
[youtube:11vbj8pr]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N01vThrQ40Q[/youtube:11vbj8pr]

Sorry, had to do it.

But seriously, let's stop the stupid groundhog superstition.  It's absurd (//http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punxsutawney_Phil#Punxsutawney_Phil_lore)).  Figure out some more intelligent way of finding out whether or not spring will come early.  Like flipping a coin.  Or casting chicken bones.  Or I dunno, science.  Just spit-balling here.
Title:
Post by: Plu on March 22, 2013, 02:57:37 AM
Of course it was just "a bad prediction", it has nothing to do with the entire ritual being a crock of shit.
Title: Re: The overgrown mutant rat must die
Post by: DunkleSeele on March 22, 2013, 04:35:15 AM
Quote from: "Hydra009"Writer posted a YouTube video (//http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N01vThrQ40Q)

Sorry, had to do it.

But seriously, let's stop the stupid groundhog superstition.  It's absurd (//http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punxsutawney_Phil#Punxsutawney_Phil_lore)).  Figure out some more intelligent way of finding out whether or not spring will come early.  Like flipping a coin.  Or casting chicken bones.  Or I dunno, science.  Just spit-balling here.
I find even more absurd that a state official is having "a bit of fun" at the expense of the taxpayers. What about indicting or, at least, fire him?

And yes, the whole "groundhog day" tradition is just bullshit, that's clear; but if people are stupid enough to rely on an overgrown rat for the weather forecasts, maybe we should think about sterilising them.
Title: Re: The overgrown mutant rat must die
Post by: stromboli on March 22, 2013, 06:43:12 AM
Quote from: "Hydra009"Writer posted a YouTube video (//http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N01vThrQ40Q)

Sorry, had to do it.

But seriously, let's stop the stupid groundhog superstition.  It's absurd (//http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punxsutawney_Phil#Punxsutawney_Phil_lore)).  Figure out some more intelligent way of finding out whether or not spring will come early.  Like flipping a coin.  Or casting chicken bones.  Or I dunno, science.  Just spit-balling here.

Science? On an atheist website?  :shock:
Title:
Post by: Jason78 on March 22, 2013, 06:48:58 AM
This guy has got to be taking the piss!

Either that or Michael Gmoser has received a heavy blow to the head.
Title: Re:
Post by: DunkleSeele on March 22, 2013, 07:19:17 AM
Quote from: "Jason78"This guy has got to be taking the piss!

Either that or Michael Gmoser has received a heavy blow to the head.
Well, the article explicitely says that Gmoser is just "having fun":
QuotePost script

To close the interview, Gmoser confided he was just having "a little fun" with the indictment.

"This is a story that has legs," Gmoser joked. "I hope everyone understands it's tongue-in-cheek..."
Title:
Post by: Wheatthins on March 22, 2013, 07:31:42 AM
God fucking damn you all...
Nothing but rotten spoil sports, the whole lot of you.
Title: Re: Re:
Post by: Jason78 on March 22, 2013, 08:20:45 AM
Quote from: "DunkleSeele"Well, the article explicitely says that Gmoser is just "having fun":

My bad!  I should have clicked on the link and actually read the article.

(Mind you, in my defence, this is exactly the kind of insane thing I've come to expect from american politicians.)
Title:
Post by: Colanth on March 22, 2013, 02:00:08 PM
For those of you not raised in our particular brand of silliness, the whole thing is a bit of fun.  No one (well, no one sane, anyway) actually thinks that the "prediction" is any more serious than Santa Claus bringing presents to children on Christmas Eve.  (Yet the North American Aerospace Defense Command still issues "progress reports" every Christmas Eve - on the progress of Santa's sleigh.)

I suspect that Gmoser was just getting in on the fun, and didn't waste more than a couple of minutes of the taxpayers' time.