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Extraordinary Claims => Religion General Discussion => Topic started by: stromboli on September 14, 2015, 01:54:42 PM

Title: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: stromboli on September 14, 2015, 01:54:42 PM
http://www.ourladyofperpetualexemption.com/#

QuotePraise Be Unto You
September 13, 2015

It is I, Megareverend and C.E.O. of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption Church, Pastor John Oliver.

We thank you for all your kind donations, but I’m sorry to report that we have closed down the church. And let me take a moment to explain why - it’s certainly not because we have to.

We have still, miraculously, not broken any laws by promising you untold riches in return for sending us money. We’re also not closing down because you all kept sending us actual seeds, even though we explicitly told you not to. We’re closing because multiple people sent us sperm through the mail. And when someone sends you jizz through the mail, it’s time to stop whatever you’re doing.

So we are shutting this s**t down. Praise be!


P.S. All previous monetary donations have been forwarded to Doctors Without Borders

Shame on you, you sick minded bastards  :naughty:
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: Baruch on September 14, 2015, 01:56:18 PM
You have to be willing to commit to the next two millennia, or you aren't serious ... says any Catholic Pope.
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: Solitary on September 14, 2015, 02:02:40 PM
Can you still return to sender? What's next, a letter bomb?
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: TomFoolery on September 14, 2015, 02:03:41 PM
Ha ha. Send us your "seed."

Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: Baruch on September 14, 2015, 02:05:20 PM
Quote from: Solitary on September 14, 2015, 02:02:40 PM
Can you still return to sender? What's next, a letter bomb?

Biological weapons in the mail ... are an FBI/Army specialty [-C
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: Solitary on September 14, 2015, 02:22:33 PM
They work pretty good in New York subways too.
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: dtq123 on September 15, 2015, 01:19:55 AM
Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster for smiting false idols!  :fsm:
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: drunkenshoe on September 15, 2015, 04:04:58 AM
QuoteP.S. All previous monetary donations have been forwarded to Doctors Without Borders. We did not send the sperm.

:rotflmao:
Title: Re: "Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption" (John Oliver) Is Shutting down
Post by: 1liesalot on September 15, 2015, 05:49:05 AM
Quote from: stromboli on September 14, 2015, 01:54:42 PM
http://www.ourladyofperpetualexemption.com/#

Shame on you, you sick minded bastards  :naughty:

Somebody shout "PRAISE THE LORD".