A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
*Next*
A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race, but then she realized that they cost way too much money, so instead, she bought a donkey.
The next day, she enters it into a contest, and it comes in third.
The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.''
The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first.
The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.''
The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race.
The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price.
The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''