What better source could there be for this information than the Mormon Church? The leaked Handbook for Church Leaders, explains logically how masturbation and sexual orientation are linked. I thought the most helpful explanation was, 'Self-masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in homosexual behavior.'
Another helpful insight points out that homosexuality is a learned behavior in dysfunctional families.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5183605/Mormon-guidebook-claims-masturbation-turns-gay.html#ixzz51MkFeBHX
Sorry, I almost thought you were serious at first ;-))
While the Bible is bad enough on its own, Church doctrine pulled out of a hat ... is even worse.
The whole point of it was ... that Onan didn't want to do his marital duty vs-a-vis Tamar. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. So it depends on why you are masturbating. Same as any other activity. And the notion, in today's world, that I must produce the maximum number of sons, for the army, is equally stupid.
OMG! I'm not serious.
Quote from: SGOS on December 15, 2017, 04:11:06 PM
'Self-masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in homosexual behavior.'
Anyone with a healthy sexual development would laugh, pointing out that masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in heterosexual behavior, as well.
Quote from: Hakurei Reimu on December 15, 2017, 06:25:20 PM
Anyone with a healthy sexual development would laugh, pointing out that masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in heterosexual behavior, as well.
Actually, it's universal among people that breath.
Quote from: SGOS on December 15, 2017, 06:41:14 PM
Actually, it's universal among people that breath.
its universal among most mammals too. plus its healthier, stress relieving, and doesn't lead to accidents, like the 13th mormon baby popping out.
Quote from: Hakurei Reimu on December 15, 2017, 06:25:20 PM
Anyone with a healthy sexual development would laugh, pointing out that masturbation is almost universal among those who engage in heterosexual behavior, as well.
I think it has been proven scientifically that 99% of all people masturbate and the other 1% lies about it. :smiley:
Quote from: Munch on December 15, 2017, 07:45:02 PM
its universal among most mammals too. plus its healthier, stress relieving, and doesn't lead to accidents, like the 13th mormon baby popping out.
And homosexuality has been observed in non-human animals as well. Coincidence?! I think not!
Quote from: Mike Cl on December 15, 2017, 08:39:33 PM
I think it has been proven scientifically that 99% of all people masturbate and the other 1% lies about it. :smiley:
There are only two kinds of people who don't masturbate, saints and liars.
Everyone masturbates but gay men treat it like an Olympic event.
Masturbating makes one gay? Good grief is that in addition to causing reduced visual acuity and growing hair on the palms? :surprise:
Quote from: Luther Martini on December 16, 2017, 04:41:49 PM
Masturbating makes one gay? Good grief is that in addition to causing reduced visual acuity and growing hair on the palms? :surprise:
Well, yeah. At least I always feel happier when I've finished. And the hair on my palms simply makes the process better.
Mother says to her son: If you masturbate too much you will go blind.
Son replies: Then I'll only do it until I have to wear glasses.
Quote from: GSOgymrat on December 16, 2017, 04:23:10 PMEveryone masturbates but gay men treat it like an Olympic event.
Is it really true that gay men masturbate more than straight men? We need to verify this empirically, for science! Perhaps we should make it an actual Olympic event. :P
Why not an Olympic event? Since I started watching the Olympics, they have expanded the menu of events exponentially. If someone gets an idea for a crazy stunt, they make an event out of it. Something stands a better chance of becoming an actual event if it involves spending an inordinate amount of time upside down. Some of the events can't even be empirically scored. They have to have judges subjectively rate the performances, where the Russian judge gives the Russian a 10, and all the others give him a 4.5. It shouldn't even be called competition. They could make a Jack Ass Movie out of some of the events, and just pay people do anything they can think of providing it might be dangerous enough to potentially break their necks.
Masturbation would make an actual competitive event like competition used to be, because it could be empirically measured, rather than depend on biased judges. They could have competitive sub divisions like the Clean and Jerk based on speed, or competition based on distance like the Shot Put, or competition based on height like the Pole Vault.
Quote from: SGOS on December 16, 2017, 11:46:20 PM
Why not an Olympic event? Since I started watching the Olympics, they have expanded the menu of events exponentially. If someone gets an idea for a crazy stunt, they make an event out of it. Something stands a better chance of becoming an actual event if it involves spending an inordinate amount of time upside down. Some of the events can't even be empirically scored. They have to have judges subjectively rate the performances, where the Russian judge gives the Russian a 10, and all the others give him a 4.5. It shouldn't even be called competition. They could make a Jack Ass Movie out of some of the events, and just pay people do anything they can think of providing it might be dangerous enough to potentially break their necks.
Masturbation would make an actual competitive event like competition used to be, because it could be empirically measured, rather than depend on biased judges. They could have competitive sub divisions like the Clean and Jerk based on speed, or competition based on distance like the Shot Put, or competition based on height like the Pole Vault.
That is actually a very Greek idea ;-)
I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action. Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.
Quote from: SGOS on December 17, 2017, 10:44:38 AM
I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action. Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.
Bigger pool of applicants = more top tier applicants. Heterosexuals would clean up (figuratively speaking. I pity the janitor)
And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"? Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.
Quote from: Hydra009 on December 17, 2017, 01:19:29 PM
And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"? Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.
That was a reference to tennis, where a teams are composed of men and women. Now I don't actually follow tennis, and "mixed doubles" might be some image I conjured up in my head. I just heard the term and concluded that's what it meant. OK, now I'm going to have to google it.
Yeah, it's what I thought. Now apply that to a sub division of Competitive Masturbation which would be based on mutual masturbation. Oh Hell, it's not as funny as I thought it was when I try to explained it.
Ah for the good old days... The mind is still willing, but the flesh is weak.
There are two kinds of people. Those that masturbate, and those the lie about not masturbating.
Quote from: SGOS on December 15, 2017, 06:41:14 PM
Actually, it's universal among people that breath.
I think masturbation is the only truly
safe sex...
Quote from: Blackleaf on December 16, 2017, 02:40:32 AM
And homosexuality has been observed in non-human animals as well. Coincidence?! I think not!
Ah, but do those species masturbate? Only their hair-dresser knows for sure...
(http://salamandersociety.com/slamtoons/terrestrial/2007/070125cricket_circle_jerk.jpg)
Quote from: Unbeliever on December 22, 2017, 05:13:10 PM
I think masturbation is the only truly safe sex...
Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(
OUCH!
Quote from: Baruch on December 22, 2017, 06:17:50 PM
Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(
or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.
Quote from: Munch on December 22, 2017, 06:23:47 PM
or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.
Edward Scissorhands never ran, his mother warned him about that ;-)
Quote from: Baruch on December 22, 2017, 06:22:04 PM
Glad to have you back. The board has missed you.
Thanks Baruch! I get here when I can, but just day to day living seems to take a lot of my time. I just want to play the drum all day...
Quote from: Unbeliever on December 22, 2017, 06:56:39 PM
Thank Baruch! I get here when I can, but just day to day living seems to take a lot of my time. I just want to play the drum all day...
Intelligent comment and sense of humor? What is not to like! <da dum>