It's an anniversary.
It was about 10:00, on a Sunday morning. My girlfriend and I were getting ready for...that's right...church. Her hair, and her makeup, weren't up to her standards, and she was getting really frustrated, so we just decided to skip it...and instead, had sex...on my parents' bed.
That was 32 years ago. It's a very significant anniversary to me, because it was the last time I had sex.
I would never call myself, "handsome," but I would also not call, myself, by any means, "ugly." More or less, judging by the few girls I have dated, "average," would probably be appropriate. At that time(1985), I still had a 7-inch dick too. But, as long as I'm going to be crude enough to mention it, I should explain, that it's a "grower - not a shower." So it's not like I could ever give someone a peek, and get laid, because a 3.5 inch soft-on isn't very impressive, even with the promise that it doubles in size - which, worse yet, it doesn't anymore(it's just slightly over 6 inches now). So, what I'm saying is, I didn't, for many years, have any physical obstacle.
The problem, as I see it, is this: unlike a lot of guys, including many of my friends, I don't feel that the idea of using some random woman, as a masturbatory vessel, is appealing. I consider sex to be such an intimate, and wonderful, sharing touch, that I refuse to do it, with someone, for lack of a better word...unworthy. By which I basically mean, someone I can BOTH be attracted to, and LOVE.
Over the years, I have met only a dozen, or so, women who met both of those standards. And only two, who..."liked me back"...enough to go out with me.
I don't care about hair color, or race, or breast-size(actually prefer smaller, when looking at porn), or most other stuff like that. I literally have only one criteria, for a physical attribute, that I can't help(for whatever fucking reason, it really doesn't matter), because it is a minimum requirement, for me to be sexually attracted to a woman, sufficiently for me to go-down on her(very, very important), or likely, even to get a hard-on, possibly even if she were sucking my dick: she has to be skinny. I love fat women, the elderly, and midgets, and would never consider diminishing them in any way, for the qualities, that I just identified them by, with one exception: all three have equal chance, of getting me aroused. Zero.
Now I was skinny, myself, until 2002, when I was put on Risperidone, for my schizophrenia, and in three years, went from(6 ft) 168 lbs, to 253 lbs. Roughly half my original weight in additional fat. And it was about that time that, at a local video store, I saw a couple of attractive, not-out-of-my-league girls. I very clearly heard their conversation, when one of them noticed, that I was looking at her: "That guy is checking us out..." To which her friend responded, "Yeah...but did you see his GUT!" Which is pretty much the point at which I stopped trying.
Which brings me to now. I have finally managed to lose, 65 lbs of the extra fat, and meet a girl, who is very worthy, as well as very possibly, not out of reach. But this fucking insomnia(possibly caused by the god-damned testosterone imbalance, that I have to take injections, every two weeks for), has left me so wobbly that I couldn't even hope, to say what I want to say to her(some off-the-scale romantic words), and has left me with unattractive, baggy, dark circles, under my eyes, that make me look even older.
So, as miserable as this insomnia is making me physically, it's this intense craving, just for a woman's touch(much more so than sex), that made cry for myself, this afternoon. I'm only posting this story, because someone should hear it, and it's not the kind of thing, that I talk to my sister about.
Laughing Buddha says, "Don't cry...it only stuffs-up your nose."
I'm monogamous when I'm married and a total slut otherwise. Works for me.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 05:21:16 PM
I'm monogamous when I'm married and a total slut otherwise. Works for me.
No judgement from me, Brother. But...like I said...I put too much of my heart into it, to have "casual sex."
Quote from: Solomon Zorn on July 11, 2017, 05:25:27 PM
No judgement from me, Brother. But...like I said...I put too much of my heart into it, to have "casual sex."
Yeah, I read that and that's fine, I very seldom have an opinion of other people's sex lives.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 05:49:00 PM
Yeah, I read that and that's fine, I very seldom have an opinion of other people's sex lives.
I
wholeheartedly, agree. Lack of consent, or coercion(which is automatically inseparable, from
ANY SEXUAL ACT, between an adult, and a child), is my only criteria for criticizing, or condemning anyone else's sexual behavior. Which, I feel, is not the same thing, at all, of sometimes expressing my opinion, by saying,
"Okay...THAT IS FUCKING GROSS!"Laughing Buddha says,
"I'm SO FUCKING HORNY!"
I have missed a fair amount of leg because I didn't get an unambiguous "yes". And I've never been embarrassed or disturbed "the morning after".
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 11, 2017, 06:08:52 PM
I have missed a fair amount of leg because I didn't get an unambiguous "yes". And I've never been embarrassed or disturbed "the morning after".
Laughing Buddha says, "May your cock, being the only
TRUE GOD, bless you for your discretion, and never leave you
feeling ashamed..."
Quote from: Solomon Zorn on July 11, 2017, 06:13:40 PM
Laughing Buddha says, "May your cock, being the only TRUE GOD, bless you for your discretion, and never leave you feeling ashamed..."
Meh, I don't embarrass easily. I danced nude at a strip joint once on a beer bet. One bottle.
TMI folks
It's better to have a smaller cock because that way you can get the whole thing inside whatever orifice you're sticking it in.
Quote from: Atheon on July 12, 2017, 04:44:20 AM
It's better to have a smaller cock because that way you can get the whole thing inside whatever orifice you're sticking it in.
Fortunately I use my hand, and it is one size fits all.
Quote from: Baruch on July 12, 2017, 02:43:45 AM
TMI folks
You're definitely right, but I think that is pretty much the point of this thread, in a way...
If you're looking for some safe sex, "massage" parlors are an option.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4e/6d/e9/4e6de98c8b3769658845435584888fdc.jpg)
Quote from: Baruch on July 12, 2017, 06:34:04 AM
Fortunately I use my hand, and it is one size fits all.
(http://www.starliteshoppingmall.com/site/product/Mens-Funny-Sexual-Jokes-T-Shirts-TSM198607.jpg)
Quote from: Unbeliever on July 12, 2017, 03:25:49 PM
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4e/6d/e9/4e6de98c8b3769658845435584888fdc.jpg)
(http://rationalia.com/z/SafeSex.gif)
I actually learnt from my Mexican friends recently that Mexico doesn't even celebrate the 5th. Actual mexicans don't celebrate it at all.
Quote from: PickelledEggs on July 12, 2017, 06:17:55 PM
I actually learnt from my Mexican friends recently that Mexico doesn't even celebrate the 5th. Actual mexicans don't celebrate it at all.
Correct ... it is a Mexican-American holiday, just as tacos are Mexican-American food, not real Mexican. I have a news flash for you ... Chop Suey was invented in NYC.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 12, 2017, 08:58:03 AM
If you're looking for some safe sex, "massage" parlors are an option.
You only read email while in the foyer?
Quote from: Unbeliever on July 12, 2017, 03:41:15 PM
(http://www.starliteshoppingmall.com/site/product/Mens-Funny-Sexual-Jokes-T-Shirts-TSM198607.jpg)
It is really hard to get your jism to come out blue, and stencil a t-shirt message with it.
Quote from: Solomon Zorn on July 11, 2017, 06:13:40 PM
Laughing Buddha says, "May your cock, being the only TRUE GOD, bless you for your discretion, and never leave you feeling ashamed..."
When you mention "The Laughing Buddha", I think you should read the ending of 'Candy". Look it up, I can't possibly explain it here.
Quote from: Cavebear on July 14, 2017, 07:13:35 AM
When you mention "The Laughing Buddha", I think you should read the ending of 'Candy". Look it up, I can't possibly explain it here.
Oh, but that cockpit scene...
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 14, 2017, 07:48:52 AM
Oh, but that cockpit scene...
Wasn't that 'Airplane' and Otto?
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 14, 2017, 08:08:36 AM
Nope.
OH! Well, actually, I never saw the movie. Don't recall that in the book. And to be fair, I haven't seen the book in 50 years. So it might be there. But I'll bet not. I have a pretty good memory for that sort of thing.
Quote from: Cavebear on July 14, 2017, 08:16:41 AM
OH! Well, actually, I never saw the movie. Don't recall that in the book. And to be fair, I haven't seen the book in 50 years. So it might be there. But I'll bet not. I have a pretty good memory for that sort of thing.
Take a look at the cast.
Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on July 14, 2017, 08:39:14 AM
Take a look at the cast.
I was referring to the book. As I said, never saw the movie. The movie couldn't replicate the book.
Quote from: Cavebear on July 14, 2017, 07:13:35 AM
When you mention "The Laughing Buddha", I think you should read the ending of 'Candy". Look it up, I can't possibly explain it here.
If it has info, on
one of my previous incarnations, I'll have to pass.
But
as for the girl, in Gawdzilla Sama's post...
beautiful...
For some reason, it made me
remember this morning, when I was waiting in my elderly neighbor's car, for her to come out of the grocery store(I had to ride with her, because this insomnia is so debilitating, early in the morning especially, that it's not safe for me to drive),
I saw this girl walk by...she was wearing
the tightest pair of shorts I have ever seen on a woman, in public. They were completely embedded in her butt-crack, like they were
painted on. She was
just a little bit chubbier, than I would usually consider ideal, but nevertheless,
I felt like crying and jacking off, at the same moment...
SO FUCKING LONELY! And it's like that with
every attractive girl I see, lately...Might have something to do with the testosterone injections.
She sure is beautiful. Not a doubt. I would want to know more though. Maybe a few dates, some conversation, have her talk to Mom (so they can laugh about me)... It's a possibility... (koff*koff)
But it reminds me of a joke and I apologize in advance.
A man sits down at a bar and a beautiful women is next to him wearing skin-tight slacks. He is a scientist, so he actually considers this. Finally, he just has to ask "Maam (this is an very old joke) how DOES one get into those slacks?
And she replies...
Wait for it...
"Well, you can start by buying me a drink"!
Badda-Boom Badda -
Oh well... He wasn't actually trying either...
Quote from: Cavebear on July 14, 2017, 02:33:54 PM
I was referring to the book. As I said, never saw the movie. The movie couldn't replicate the book.
If you refuse to consider the possibility that the movie might be worth watching that's fine.
With the exception of '2001', the book is always better than the movie. More internal dialogue, etc.