Howdy all,
I thought I would ask some logical people their opinion on this.
I am 21 years old, I am talkative when I get to know people, but shy at first. I can also be quite awkward around girls/young women.
I'm average looking, (not great, I wouldn't say terrible)
I am currently taking anthropology in university.
Every Monday, I have a research methods class, and for the whole year we had a research project. People worked in pairs, asking an anthropological question, and now since it is the end of the year groups (each group consists of 2 people) has to present their findings in a poster. While they present, students come up, ask questions etc.
I knew of one young woman (older than me about 26 years old) in the class. I found her attractive, but didn't really think much of it. It was not until about 3 weeks ago when I presented with my classmate, that her and I had our first interaction this year. I wore a nice dress shirt with a blazer, tie, nice pants, dress shoes, etc, because I wanted to look professional for my presentation. It was a huge improvement from my regular soccer jersey and sweat pants.
That day, I noticed she kept looking at me, and she told me what a good presentation it was.
The next week, I went into class, sat down, and she sat pretty close. Suddenly, she was asking me how I was doing and talking to me. She told me she was presenting next week. I wondered why all of a sudden she was acting so friendly.
This is where it gets interesting. Last week, My group mate and I went to look at the poster her and her friend made. We asked a few questions, and I noticed when she answered us she barely looked at my friend but gave me all of the eye contact. We spoke about general stuff for about 20-25 min, and then she noticed I was wearing a Bayern Munich Jersey. For those who do not know, Bayern Munich is a football/ soccer team which happens to be my favourite team. Then her face lit up and she got all excited. She said that Bayern was her favourite team, and how she would love to watch a game with me sometime. We spoke for about another 20 min, and then class ended. Right as we were leaving she said "bye, and don't forget we have to watch Bayern play together!"
This week, there was another presentation going on. My friend and I were in the crowd watching, and sure enough her friend and herself end up right next to us. My friend was in between me and her. As soon as he went to the washroom she ended up really close to me. I was a bit shy, but I initiated the conversation. We spoke about school, and general things. Finally I asked her if she watched soccer this weekend. Although she didn't seem quite as adamant as last week, she brought up watching Bayern again, to which I responded "why don't we exchange numbers so that we can watch a few games together after exams?" She gave me her number, and I will text her tomorrow.
I am a little bit confused. I barely knew her and now all of a sudden she is acting totally friendly and she has hinted that she wants to do something (watch sports) however, I am not sure what to make of it, as she is quite a bit older. What do you guys think?
Five years is not a too huge a gap. My parents are 4 years apart, granted THE other way 'round but that should not matter.
All that said, important question is if you are interested. And in what. Could be she is genuinly trying to be friends, could be she wants to start dating, could be all she wants is to jump your bones. Only way to find out, if you are interested in any of those options, is forward.
Way to go, Don Juan.
Older women are hot. Nuff said
If you want to pursue then pursue, nothing else it's a new friendship
5 years may not make much of difference now but think of the future. My god man when she's 95 you'll only be 90...
Quote from: Manga on March 28, 2017, 12:58:38 AM
...She gave me her number, and I will text her tomorrow.
I am a little bit confused. I barely knew her and now all of a sudden she is acting totally friendly and she has hinted that she wants to do something (watch sports) however, I am not sure what to make of it, as she is quite a bit older. What do you guys think?
I remember being exactly that dense, once...
DUDE! She wants you! No question about it! Don't let the opportunity slip away! For some of us, they don't come around every day...
With women you never know, but if you don't do something you won't find out. Don't worry about how it turns out. See if she would be interested in getting together to do something simple. Coffee at the Student Union. She will probably send you more clues if she's interested. If she doesn't do anything that's probably a clue.
Most relationships don't end up going anywhere. That's why people have so many of them. It's not a big deal. It's fun just getting to know people. And when you are least expecting it, something great happens. Sometimes something shitty happens. You can't control much of it. I loved the excitement of my 20s, never knowing what was around the corner. Great years, and college is a good place to be.
Quote from: SGOS
With women you never know, but if you don't do something you won't find out.
You never "know," but this chick is giving pretty straightforward signals.
Quote from: SGOSDon't worry about how it turns out. See if she would be interested in getting together to do something simple. Coffee at the Student Union. She will probably send you more clues if she's interested. If she doesn't do anything that's probably a clue.
Definitely do it soon though...you may not be the only guy she's flirting with. And if she starts up with someone else, before you make your move, it's that much more frustrating.
I got her number yesterday. Do you think I should text today or could I wait until Thursday?
Quote from: Manga on March 28, 2017, 05:37:15 PM
I got her number yesterday. Do you think I should text today or could I wait until Thursday?
Look, you can play this by the playbook and wait three days, or you could do it your way and do it when it feels right to you. I don't mean to patronize, I just want to say don't let others dictate how you should act in a relationship. If you can't do it your way on your pace, it Will just wind up frustrating you anyway.
Quote from: Mr.Obvious on March 28, 2017, 06:01:05 PM
Look, you can play this by the playbook and wait three days, or you could do it your way and do it when it feels right to you. I don't mean to patronize, I just want to say don't let others dictate how you should act in a relationship. If you can't do it your way on your pace, it Will just wind up frustrating you anyway.
You're right of course, but it still pisses me off because I want to be the final authority on relationships with women.
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to pursuing women unless you're my friend John L of Columbus Ohio who had businesses cards printed with his name, phone number and email address. He hands them out to arbitrary pretty women on busses with his trademark comment, "I find you to be an exceptionally attractive woman." and actually expects them to call him at a later time. It's never been known to fail except every single time.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:35:37 AM
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to pursuing women unless you're my friend John L of Columbus Ohio who had businesses cards printed with his name, phone number and email address. He hands them out to arbitrary pretty women on busses with his trademark comment, "I find you to be an exceptionally attractive woman." and actually expects them to call him at a later time. It's never been known to fail except every single time.
When I went to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, a guy introduced himself to me with a business card. The funny part was that he had no job, no money, no phone, computer, or internet connection. The only thing he had on the card was his name, and the words "Alcoholics Anonymous". I'm not making this up.
I hate to tell you this, but if you have to ask for dating advice on this forum your chances of success have already been greatly diminished. There's an unhealthy number of 30+ year old virgins here...not exactly a bastion of authors of how to pick up girls books.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:35:37 AM
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to pursuing women...
This is true, but some courses of action work better than others. Your friend, John, should contact me. I can help.
Quote from: SGOS on March 29, 2017, 09:43:55 AM
When I went to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, a guy introduced himself to me with a business card. The funny part was that he had no job, no money, no phone, computer, or internet connection. The only thing he had on the card was his name, and the words "Alcoholics Anonymous". I'm not making this up.
I believe that. I've yet to meet an actual sober person at AA.
My son is currently fighting a DUI charge and goes to meetings and has lots of AA paraphenalia around his apartment and still drinks quite a bit. In fact you can go to just about any AA meeting and tell them you've been sober for 20 years and they'll give you one of those phony 20 year sober coins.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:49:55 AM
I believe that. I've yet to meet an actual sober person at AA.
My son is currently fighting a DUI charge and goes to meetings and has lots of AA paraphenalia around his apartment and still drinks quite a bit.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:45:37 AM
I hate to tell you this, but if you have to ask for dating advice on this forum your chances of success have already been greatly diminished. There's an unhealthy number of 30+ year old virgins here...not exactly a bastion of authors of how to pick up girls books.
This is also true, but you are wrecking a potentially interesting thread. Do not confuse helpful with interesting.
Ok, helpful.. Yes! Ask the woman out. The absolute worst thing that can come of it is a resounding NO, but if what you're telling us is all true you'll probably get a yes and later find out she has a really nasty and jealous former boyfriend hell bent on killing you. Or...perhaps she's just lonely and actually likes you. The only regret I've ever had when it comes to asking out a woman was the shot of penicillin. Trust me..it was worth it.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:49:55 AM
I believe that. I've yet to meet an actual sober person at AA.
My son is currently fighting a DUI charge and goes to meetings and has lots of AA paraphenalia around his apartment and still drinks quite a bit.
Well, there are some that are temporally sober, and who equate that with the claim that they quit drinking. They have quit many times, in fact. Some quit as much as 10 times a month. They are actually quite good at it. But there are a few that have quit and actually been sober for 25 years and upwards of that. I'm one of them. And I've known a couple that quit and remained sober until they died. But most (maybe slightly more than half) seem to live on the edge, and have rather poor track records of longevity in sobriety. My own experience tells me that it can work, but takes a little more than simply turning your will over to God.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:59:21 AM
Ok, helpful.. Yes! Ask the woman out.
Well, it seems like a good place to start, although I will admit that most of my better relationships never started with a date. I'd have to think about that some more, but I think that's true.
Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on March 29, 2017, 09:59:21 AM
The absolute worst thing that can come of it is a resounding NO, but if what you're telling us is all true you'll probably get a yes and later find out she has a really nasty and jealous former boyfriend hell bent on killing you. Or...perhaps she's just lonely and actually likes you. The only regret I've ever had when it comes to asking out a woman was the shot of penicillin. Trust me..it was worth it.
True. In fact, very true. But I can promise, you can never know for sure what's going on at any given time.
Shit! The power company is going to turn off my power to work on the lines outside my house, and I'll be gone right in the middle of this exchange. See you later.
Quote from: SGOS on March 29, 2017, 10:02:38 AM
Well, there are some that are temporally sober, and who equate that with the claim that they quit drinking. They have quit many times, in fact. Some quit as much as 10 times a month. They are actually quite good at it. But there are a few that have quit and actually been sober for 25 years and upwards of that. I'm one of them. And I've known a couple that quit and remained sober until they died. But most (maybe slightly more than half) seem to live on the edge, and have rather poor track records of longevity in sobriety. My own experience tells me that it can work, but takes a little more than simply turning your will over to God.
I would admit to engaging in hyperbolic foolishness, but then it might discredit your undeniable faith in me. Yeah, I have known a few sober ones, but they're generally in the minority.
I would say she is in to you. Go for it...nice and easy like. Just be yourself, relax as best you can. Try to study a little body language.....google it....quick guide, if she faces you and her knees point towards you she is quite into you. If her legs start to open a little bit, she is most likely very interested in getting closer. Not hard stuff, but don't jump on her if she spreads her legs wide, she could just be farting.....bad move.
A. Let us know how it goes.
B. I say this from experience of not going for it till like... 4 years late... SHE WANTS THE DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Quote from: Manga on March 28, 2017, 05:37:15 PM
I got her number yesterday. Do you think I should text today or could I wait until Thursday?
She gave you her number idiot. She wants a call. Suggest a mild date. A museum followed by a dinner. Ask her about herself.
And you better be serious about the museum, BTW!
Ask her to pray with you dressed in your favorite Mormon missionary suit. Don't forget the magic underwear. It'll take awhile to get off if you get to 3rd base, but it's worth the struggle brother..