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News & General Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 05:12:52 AM

Title: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 05:12:52 AM
I don't like to think of myself as a "snowflake" or as a victim, but I can't help but notice that I'm different from most everyone I've ever known. This topic is difficult for me to address because I find that no one ever understands what I'm talking about. Most people have no clue what I'm talking about when I say I'm awkward, and that I've never spoken to women, and that I've never had a girlfriend. They think I'm exaggerating like most people do. They don't understand the extent of these issues or just how serious I am.

I'll try to give a description of myself here, and hopefully the people here will not take loosely what I'm saying. I'm awkward, and kind of low on intelligence if I'm honest. I've never spoken to a girl outside of the trivial (like saying "pardon me" when walking past and ordering food). I'm physically unattractive, and most of all, I have a pretty pathetic personality. I'm weird in ways that defy explanation (both in terms of looks and personality). I'm just not the type of person for anyone. No one has basic respect for me, even if they're a new person I've never met before. It's weird and depressing.

I've mostly accepted that I'll never be liked by women, or experience what everyone else gets to experience. I just wondered if anyone else here has ever known anyone like me? I've never known of anyone else like me. Everyone else has at least had one relationship and at least kissed. I always look at my 8 year old nephew and think, "He'll lose his virginity before I do." I'm virtually certain to never lose mine.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Mr.Obvious on March 15, 2017, 05:57:28 AM
Welcome to our little band of heathens.

I wouldn't be able to comment on your appearance or social skills. Though, you seem rather well-spoken enough.

At the risk of my words being ham-handed and void...

All I can say, from your introduction, is that you seem to think negatively of yourself. If you do, you'll communicate that to the rest of the world. It's after-school special crap, I know, but you got to respect yourself before others will respect you. You gotta become confident in that you're worthwhile, if you want others to think you're worthwhile.

From age (about) 10 to (about) 17 I was quite obese, obnoxious, convinced I was unlike anyone else, antisocial,  didn't put any thought in my outerward appearance and was convinced that who I was, would never change. I was rather depressed, obsessed with my 'oh-aren't-I-so-tortured' attitude and both desperate for validation of others as well as disdainful to their opinions. It made for a needy, angry mixture that wasn't fun for anyone.

Now, I have basic respect for you. I do. And maybe my experiences don't wholly translate to yours. But why I mention them, is that it's important you need to switch your mind-set and break this negative spiral. The first step to accepting you can become better, is accepting that there are things you need to work on. (For me, this took the longest of time to accept. As I was pretty convinced I was great, despite it all.)
If you're not impressed with your own looks and physique; don't just accept it. Start exercising, diƫting, following dressing and fashion shows on tv (if that's what it takes), concider mixing up your hair, ... whatever.
If you feel like you're not striking a significant impression or are feeling depressed; don't just accept it. Go take a course on assertivity. Join a self-help program. Take therapy if need be, there's no shame in it. Put out small goals like; going to new places twice a week or making a passing remark about the weather to a shopkeep.
If you feel like you're not intelligent; don't just accept it. Start reading more books. Take a class or an online course. Take a newspaper or national geographic membership. ... There are plenty of things you can do.

The important thing is that you set goals for yourself and celebrate your journey towards them. Take small steps, don't overreach. Plotting this out and staying aware of every small thing you do, every book you read, every jog you take, every soda you pass up for water, every conversation you spark, is an enormous help in changing your mindset and thus how you communicate yourself to the outside world. From toiling in helplesness, you transform yourself into your own architect. You acknowledge where you are, that takes guts, and you are the reason why it keeps improving, bit by bit. It keeps you busy. It keeps your mind off bad thoughts. And you'll find, in time, that people will treat you better. They will respect you, because you respect you.

Again, sorry if this is not helpful. But I can only advise this, reading your post. Think big, yet start small.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Draconic Aiur on March 15, 2017, 06:38:31 AM
HA! im a 27 year old virgin!! I WIN!
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: SGOS on March 15, 2017, 06:53:18 AM
Welcome to the forum.  There have been a few women in the forum.  Most have left, and those that remain don't show up much.  So don't feel bad.  You will relate well with the forum. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 15, 2017, 07:22:47 AM
You aren't alone ... you just think you are special enough to be unique.  Got propositioned by gay men twice in my life (the only one's who considered me attractive).  And frankly, no man can be compared to even an ugly woman (it is just my hormones speaking).  Other than hand me the Kinsey book when I was 14, my parents didn't educate me.  Playboy magazine did.  I didn't have a relationship with a woman until I was 27.  Count yourself lucky so far.  Geeky men obsess about this subject though, consider women to be stuck up bitches.  Well, they are, sometimes.  I was married for 17 years, and wouldn't miss doing that.  I love women, but they are a major pain to deal with.  If you want a relationship, you need to take up fishing ... it is very similar to dating, even the smell.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Munch on March 15, 2017, 10:06:06 AM
I was 25 when I lost mine, and I mean the proper way. My first boyfriend when I was 20, he was a little on the large size, so didn't get anywhere.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on March 15, 2017, 10:14:28 AM
I was twenty-one when I lost my virginity.  It was my first time in a gay club and I still did not drink alcohol at the time.  The guy I went home with, however, was drunk. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on March 15, 2017, 12:19:09 PM
OP, upside, no STDs.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on March 15, 2017, 12:56:14 PM
First off, love your username.

2nd: there is no shame in being a virgin, even at your age. I don't know why people play up losing your virginity as some sort of life experience everyone MUST experience, but honestly after you've had sex more than once it's not as special as it's played up to be.

Really though, to be blunt: losing your virginity shouldn't be the goal. I don't mean you shouldn't want it, but rather your goal should be to be comfortable with yourself and find people that you're comfortable with. Things like losing your virginity usually happen organically, if you try to plan it out and only befriend someone because you want sex it will only end in sadness . Also, don't worry about being good at sex, I've had several terrible lays and the most common thing among them was either they didn't seem comfortable with themselves or they didn't communicate.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 01:47:55 PM
Love is hard to find, but sex...if you really just want to experience a woman's body, consider paying for it. Even in the small town I live in, there are some attractive prostitutes. If you tell her it's your first time, maybe she will give you the "special" treatment. But be sure to use a rubber.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on March 15, 2017, 02:35:43 PM
Love is hard to find, but sex...if you really just want to experience a woman's body, consider paying for it. Even in the small town I live in, there are some attractive prostitutes. If you tell her it's your first time, maybe she will give you the "special" treatment. But be sure to use a rubber.
And for a low-risk "fun time" massage parlors are ... handy.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: PickelledEggs on March 15, 2017, 02:41:58 PM
I'm the most ugly looking person on the planet, so you're fine.

Welcome to the forum!
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: TrueStory on March 15, 2017, 03:29:29 PM
This is quite an unusual intro thread.  There must be more to you, where do you come from, what do you like, are you an atheist?   
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 03:52:00 PM
This is quite an unusual intro thread.  There must be more to you, where do you come from, what do you like, are you an atheist?   
And, of course, do you intend to make a second post?
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 08:25:35 PM
Just one more point about pussy for pay:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vppbdf-qtGU
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 10:46:47 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 15, 2017, 11:18:41 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.

i like you, in a Platonic way.  Now tell the other losers to sod off!  Even Hitler loved his mother, and I bet you are nicer than Hitler.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: mauricio on March 19, 2017, 05:04:35 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.

One thing i realised before my life started improving is that your attitude is very efficiently communicated to other people in your body language and voice tone. Even in very subtle ways which you might not notice. So basically what is happening to you is probably that you are presenting yourself in ways which predispose other people to some negative emotions. One thing that happened to me was that i always thought being neutral was the best disposition to take. And my idea of neutrality was to keep my expression blank and let other people start actions. In my country it is customary to salute women with kisses on the cheek. I thought the best idea was to let the women make the first move to not impose this on them. Turns out what happened was i was just standing there with a blank expression giving no indication i wanted them to approach me either. So it was really easy to fix by just looking them into the eyes and smiling and moving slightly towards them. Though obviously if you lack confidence it is harder to naturally smile and look at people in the eyes and stuff like that. For that you need to work in your appearence. If you are really down in the dumps start from the most basic things like for example taking a shower, brushing your teeth properly with mouth wash and shit. This almost trivial stuff slowly accumulated and keeping the routine makes you feel good that you are actually trying to improve yourself. Slowly like this you canndig yourself out of whole. Be strong.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 20, 2017, 04:26:15 PM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 20, 2017, 06:10:27 PM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.

But like Agent Smart ... he was "this" close ;-(
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Unbeliever on March 21, 2017, 06:44:03 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.
It's not about who does or doesn't like you - it's about whether or not you like yourself. If you make of yourself someone you can like, then it matters little who else likes you.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Cavebear on March 25, 2017, 02:52:41 AM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.

Snorted wine!!!

I'm sorry for your friend, but that was a real surprise...
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 25, 2017, 09:10:09 AM
Snorted wine!!!

I'm sorry for your friend, but that was a real surprise...

The degree of surprise depends on what he was doing in the shower ;-)
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 31, 2017, 11:42:31 PM
I notice with this new job I iust got (valet parking at a fancy hotel) that all the girl customers (most of them are pretty) tend to flirt with all the guys but me. Even when I try to be friendly and talk to them, they want nothing but space in between themselves and me, and the more the better. I mean, this doesn't really bother me. It's always been this way. If a guy had both Joesph Merick's and Stephen Hawking's conditions, he'd get more girls than me.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on March 31, 2017, 11:45:24 PM
Out of curiosity, considering your abnormal bad luck with women liking you, do gay guys hit on you at all?
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 31, 2017, 11:53:45 PM
Out of curiosity, considering your abnormal bad luck with women liking you, do gay guys hit on you at all?
Its not "bad luck" man.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on March 31, 2017, 11:55:42 PM
I beg to differ.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 31, 2017, 11:57:49 PM
I beg to differ.
Nah, man. See. It's a combo of many things, but luck ain't on ofem.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:00:33 AM
Nah, man. See. It's a combo of many things, but luck ain't on ofem.

What caused the transition from proper English to white trash talk?
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:01:33 AM
It's weird, man. I can't really describe my life. It's weird. People treat me differently. It's very strange. I never understand what's going on most of the time. It's like I'm trapped in the twilight zone most of the time.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:02:45 AM
What caused the transition from proper English to white trash talk?
No, you see, it is a combination of many things, but luck is not one of them.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:04:08 AM
You need help, but you will not find it on a forum. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:07:13 AM
I don't need help. There is no help.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:09:13 AM
I don't need help. There is no help.

You thinking there is no help does not make it thus.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:12:45 AM
I'd tell you all my stories, then you'd know how buffoonish you are. But I'm too damn tired.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:14:23 AM
As many days as you have had to share those stories since you have been here......
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Hijiri Byakuren on April 01, 2017, 12:21:17 AM
I'm a 25-year-old virgin, and... whatevs. I'm starting to think I might be some degree of asexual, just because of how little this fact bothers me.

Anyway, I guess all I can say is this: keep trying, and don't subscribe to /r/incels. I'm serious about that last part, you are literally more likely to commit suicide than accomplish your goals if you enter that cesspit.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:27:58 AM
I have always known people to resort to asexuality as a choice, not as an inevitability. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Hijiri Byakuren on April 01, 2017, 12:28:55 AM
I have always known people to resort to asexuality as a choice, not as an inevitability. 
You're thinking of celibacy. Which every virgin technically is doing, anyway. :lol:
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:29:13 AM
Well, let's just say that as far as I can gather from life so far, and judging by every situation I've ever been in involving women, and judging by every female I've ever seen, met, or known, it appears as though women exclusively, and without exception, are repelled by me. I don't feel like writing at length about the barrage of specific experiences on hand that I could use as testimony, but lets just say they include a myriad of instances of women coming up to me at random in public to tell me I'm ugly, several blind dates set up for me wherein the girl saw me, shook her head no making the "no" palm gesture with her hand, and leaving without speaking a word to me, instances of "friends" taking me to parties wherein there were available women and trying to set me up with them only for occurrances similar to those above to happen, years of being bullied by other guys (and girls as well), and just a full on history of unanimous public repudiation on the basis of my looks and personality.

So no, there's no help for me.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:30:56 AM


So no, there's no help for me.

Then I guess it's time for you to start liking dick, bitch. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:35:31 AM
Then I guess it's time for you to start liking dick, bitch.
I guess so
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:36:32 AM
Oh, dear.

Ignore me and just be yourself, even if it leads to you living a very lonely life. 

Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:42:50 AM
Oh, dear.

Ignore me and just be yourself, even if it leads to you living a very lonely life.
Well, I'll give you points for not committing the total platitude.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:44:06 AM
Well, I'll give you points for not committing the total platitude.

And I shall give you half a point for zero originality or integrity. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:47:13 AM
And I shall give you half a point for zero originality or integrity.
Why would you grant half a point for zero of something?
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:51:31 AM
Why would you grant half a point for zero of something?

Generosity, and you seem to be a good person. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 12:58:06 AM
I'm not
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:58:49 AM
Oh, shush.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 01:17:53 AM
I look in the mirror every morning and think I'd rather be just about anyone else. There is no sense in someone with my traits existing. That's not depression speaking. That's just the way it is.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 01:19:47 AM
Boo-hoo, get over it. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 01:22:41 AM
I do not mind being sympathetic to one who is deserving of it, but I will not coddle one who merely whines all the time. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 01:32:20 AM
The "boo hoo, get over it" stuff doesn't work on me man. You don't have what it takes to upset me. I've heard 1000 times worse than anything you could say.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Cavebear on April 01, 2017, 02:15:38 AM
It's weird, man. I can't really describe my life. It's weird. People treat me differently. It's very strange. I never understand what's going on most of the time. It's like I'm trapped in the twilight zone most of the time.

Read the vibes...
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 01, 2017, 03:37:50 AM
I look in the mirror every morning and think I'd rather be just about anyone else. There is no sense in someone with my traits existing. That's not depression speaking. That's just the way it is.

That is actually a clinical condition, not a philosophy.  If you look in the mirror, and you aren't staring back, you are either in need of a frontal lobotomy or a vampire, in which case you are in need of a wooden stake ;-)

Actually I experience the opposite of narcissism too, but I counter that by realizing I am simply overly modest ;-)
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 01, 2017, 03:38:38 AM
The "boo hoo, get over it" stuff doesn't work on me man. You don't have what it takes to upset me. I've heard 1000 times worse than anything you could say.

Actually you sound like the Eliza program, or an actual Rogerian therapist.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 01, 2017, 03:41:41 AM
It's weird, man. I can't really describe my life. It's weird. People treat me differently. It's very strange. I never understand what's going on most of the time. It's like I'm trapped in the twilight zone most of the time.

That is what they say ... schizophrenia or paranoia feels like.  Usually for most people, it is momentary (like when they propose marriage to a girl).
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 01, 2017, 11:33:30 AM
Actually you sound like the Eliza program, or an actual Rogerian therapist.
I have no clue what you mean by that (or most things you say for that matter). I know what the eliza program is so no need to explain that. Just wondering why your posts seem like random words/thoughts without any meaning or relevance to the topic? Please be a straight-shooter with me and say what you mean. No need to impress me with your intelligence, knowledge, and vocabulary. I can't interpret the writings of overly smart people trying to prove their smarts. Either simple, plain talk, or go away.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 01, 2017, 12:03:08 PM
I have no clue what you mean by that (or most things you say for that matter). I know what the eliza program is so no need to explain that. Just wondering why your posts seem like random words/thoughts without any meaning or relevance to the topic? Please be a straight-shooter with me and say what you mean. No need to impress me with your intelligence, knowledge, and vocabulary. I can't interpret the writings of overly smart people trying to prove their smarts. Either simple, plain talk, or go away.

I am what I am.  You are what you are.  That is how things should be.  If you can see/hear yourself ... then why are you like you are?  Yes, I just turned your question back on you, but not as an annoyance.  If you come to know why are like you are ... then you will be healed of your current affliction.

And no, I am not smart or intelligent ... that is only your opinion.  I dare not talk down to people, and I refuse to talk up to people.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on April 01, 2017, 12:05:12 PM


And no, I am not smart or intelligent ...

(http://www.carlagoldenwellness.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/ego-big-head.jpg)
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 01, 2017, 01:19:55 PM
Actually Jewish people are Moon people ... Egyptians like you are Solar people.  Get pack to pulling those stone blocks into place!
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 02, 2017, 01:42:28 AM
I made a Christian Mingle account. Not sure why. Just thought It would work better than the others. Plus, I like Christian women more than others.

But.....of course it won't work.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on April 02, 2017, 09:52:38 AM
I made a Christian Mingle account. Not sure why. Just thought It would work better than the others. Plus, I like Christian women more than others.

But.....of course it won't work.

Do, there is no try! - Yoda
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on April 02, 2017, 11:45:32 PM
Do, there is no try! - Yoda
The corrected version for me is "Fail, there is no try!"
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Shiranu on April 03, 2017, 12:34:26 AM
Vibes man. Vibes. You gotta work on them.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Cavebear on April 03, 2017, 03:09:04 AM
I made a Christian Mingle account. Not sure why. Just thought It would work better than the others. Plus, I like Christian women more than others.

But.....of course it won't work.

I'm pretty sure this is not a dating site.