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News & General Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 05:12:52 AM

Title: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 05:12:52 AM
I don't like to think of myself as a "snowflake" or as a victim, but I can't help but notice that I'm different from most everyone I've ever known. This topic is difficult for me to address because I find that no one ever understands what I'm talking about. Most people have no clue what I'm talking about when I say I'm awkward, and that I've never spoken to women, and that I've never had a girlfriend. They think I'm exaggerating like most people do. They don't understand the extent of these issues or just how serious I am.

I'll try to give a description of myself here, and hopefully the people here will not take loosely what I'm saying. I'm awkward, and kind of low on intelligence if I'm honest. I've never spoken to a girl outside of the trivial (like saying "pardon me" when walking past and ordering food). I'm physically unattractive, and most of all, I have a pretty pathetic personality. I'm weird in ways that defy explanation (both in terms of looks and personality). I'm just not the type of person for anyone. No one has basic respect for me, even if they're a new person I've never met before. It's weird and depressing.

I've mostly accepted that I'll never be liked by women, or experience what everyone else gets to experience. I just wondered if anyone else here has ever known anyone like me? I've never known of anyone else like me. Everyone else has at least had one relationship and at least kissed. I always look at my 8 year old nephew and think, "He'll lose his virginity before I do." I'm virtually certain to never lose mine.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Mr.Obvious on March 15, 2017, 05:57:28 AM
Welcome to our little band of heathens.

I wouldn't be able to comment on your appearance or social skills. Though, you seem rather well-spoken enough.

At the risk of my words being ham-handed and void...

All I can say, from your introduction, is that you seem to think negatively of yourself. If you do, you'll communicate that to the rest of the world. It's after-school special crap, I know, but you got to respect yourself before others will respect you. You gotta become confident in that you're worthwhile, if you want others to think you're worthwhile.

From age (about) 10 to (about) 17 I was quite obese, obnoxious, convinced I was unlike anyone else, antisocial,  didn't put any thought in my outerward appearance and was convinced that who I was, would never change. I was rather depressed, obsessed with my 'oh-aren't-I-so-tortured' attitude and both desperate for validation of others as well as disdainful to their opinions. It made for a needy, angry mixture that wasn't fun for anyone.

Now, I have basic respect for you. I do. And maybe my experiences don't wholly translate to yours. But why I mention them, is that it's important you need to switch your mind-set and break this negative spiral. The first step to accepting you can become better, is accepting that there are things you need to work on. (For me, this took the longest of time to accept. As I was pretty convinced I was great, despite it all.)
If you're not impressed with your own looks and physique; don't just accept it. Start exercising, diƫting, following dressing and fashion shows on tv (if that's what it takes), concider mixing up your hair, ... whatever.
If you feel like you're not striking a significant impression or are feeling depressed; don't just accept it. Go take a course on assertivity. Join a self-help program. Take therapy if need be, there's no shame in it. Put out small goals like; going to new places twice a week or making a passing remark about the weather to a shopkeep.
If you feel like you're not intelligent; don't just accept it. Start reading more books. Take a class or an online course. Take a newspaper or national geographic membership. ... There are plenty of things you can do.

The important thing is that you set goals for yourself and celebrate your journey towards them. Take small steps, don't overreach. Plotting this out and staying aware of every small thing you do, every book you read, every jog you take, every soda you pass up for water, every conversation you spark, is an enormous help in changing your mindset and thus how you communicate yourself to the outside world. From toiling in helplesness, you transform yourself into your own architect. You acknowledge where you are, that takes guts, and you are the reason why it keeps improving, bit by bit. It keeps you busy. It keeps your mind off bad thoughts. And you'll find, in time, that people will treat you better. They will respect you, because you respect you.

Again, sorry if this is not helpful. But I can only advise this, reading your post. Think big, yet start small.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Draconic Aiur on March 15, 2017, 06:38:31 AM
HA! im a 27 year old virgin!! I WIN!
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: SGOS on March 15, 2017, 06:53:18 AM
Welcome to the forum.  There have been a few women in the forum.  Most have left, and those that remain don't show up much.  So don't feel bad.  You will relate well with the forum. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 15, 2017, 07:22:47 AM
You aren't alone ... you just think you are special enough to be unique.  Got propositioned by gay men twice in my life (the only one's who considered me attractive).  And frankly, no man can be compared to even an ugly woman (it is just my hormones speaking).  Other than hand me the Kinsey book when I was 14, my parents didn't educate me.  Playboy magazine did.  I didn't have a relationship with a woman until I was 27.  Count yourself lucky so far.  Geeky men obsess about this subject though, consider women to be stuck up bitches.  Well, they are, sometimes.  I was married for 17 years, and wouldn't miss doing that.  I love women, but they are a major pain to deal with.  If you want a relationship, you need to take up fishing ... it is very similar to dating, even the smell.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Munch on March 15, 2017, 10:06:06 AM
I was 25 when I lost mine, and I mean the proper way. My first boyfriend when I was 20, he was a little on the large size, so didn't get anywhere.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Sorginak on March 15, 2017, 10:14:28 AM
I was twenty-one when I lost my virginity.  It was my first time in a gay club and I still did not drink alcohol at the time.  The guy I went home with, however, was drunk. 
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on March 15, 2017, 12:19:09 PM
OP, upside, no STDs.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: The Skeletal Atheist on March 15, 2017, 12:56:14 PM
First off, love your username.

2nd: there is no shame in being a virgin, even at your age. I don't know why people play up losing your virginity as some sort of life experience everyone MUST experience, but honestly after you've had sex more than once it's not as special as it's played up to be.

Really though, to be blunt: losing your virginity shouldn't be the goal. I don't mean you shouldn't want it, but rather your goal should be to be comfortable with yourself and find people that you're comfortable with. Things like losing your virginity usually happen organically, if you try to plan it out and only befriend someone because you want sex it will only end in sadness . Also, don't worry about being good at sex, I've had several terrible lays and the most common thing among them was either they didn't seem comfortable with themselves or they didn't communicate.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 01:47:55 PM
Love is hard to find, but sex...if you really just want to experience a woman's body, consider paying for it. Even in the small town I live in, there are some attractive prostitutes. If you tell her it's your first time, maybe she will give you the "special" treatment. But be sure to use a rubber.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Gawdzilla Sama on March 15, 2017, 02:35:43 PM
Love is hard to find, but sex...if you really just want to experience a woman's body, consider paying for it. Even in the small town I live in, there are some attractive prostitutes. If you tell her it's your first time, maybe she will give you the "special" treatment. But be sure to use a rubber.
And for a low-risk "fun time" massage parlors are ... handy.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: PickelledEggs on March 15, 2017, 02:41:58 PM
I'm the most ugly looking person on the planet, so you're fine.

Welcome to the forum!
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: TrueStory on March 15, 2017, 03:29:29 PM
This is quite an unusual intro thread.  There must be more to you, where do you come from, what do you like, are you an atheist?   
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 03:52:00 PM
This is quite an unusual intro thread.  There must be more to you, where do you come from, what do you like, are you an atheist?   
And, of course, do you intend to make a second post?
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 15, 2017, 08:25:35 PM
Just one more point about pussy for pay:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vppbdf-qtGU
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: MyelinSheath on March 15, 2017, 10:46:47 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 15, 2017, 11:18:41 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.

i like you, in a Platonic way.  Now tell the other losers to sod off!  Even Hitler loved his mother, and I bet you are nicer than Hitler.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: mauricio on March 19, 2017, 05:04:35 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.

One thing i realised before my life started improving is that your attitude is very efficiently communicated to other people in your body language and voice tone. Even in very subtle ways which you might not notice. So basically what is happening to you is probably that you are presenting yourself in ways which predispose other people to some negative emotions. One thing that happened to me was that i always thought being neutral was the best disposition to take. And my idea of neutrality was to keep my expression blank and let other people start actions. In my country it is customary to salute women with kisses on the cheek. I thought the best idea was to let the women make the first move to not impose this on them. Turns out what happened was i was just standing there with a blank expression giving no indication i wanted them to approach me either. So it was really easy to fix by just looking them into the eyes and smiling and moving slightly towards them. Though obviously if you lack confidence it is harder to naturally smile and look at people in the eyes and stuff like that. For that you need to work in your appearence. If you are really down in the dumps start from the most basic things like for example taking a shower, brushing your teeth properly with mouth wash and shit. This almost trivial stuff slowly accumulated and keeping the routine makes you feel good that you are actually trying to improve yourself. Slowly like this you canndig yourself out of whole. Be strong.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Solomon Zorn on March 20, 2017, 04:26:15 PM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 20, 2017, 06:10:27 PM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.

But like Agent Smart ... he was "this" close ;-(
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Unbeliever on March 21, 2017, 06:44:03 PM
It's tough to say what the problem is, but there is something about me people don't like, not just girls. It's been this way my whole life, even back before I recognized it. Thinking back now I can see it always has.
It's not about who does or doesn't like you - it's about whether or not you like yourself. If you make of yourself someone you can like, then it matters little who else likes you.
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Cavebear on March 25, 2017, 02:52:41 AM
My best friend, from the age of seven, was a virgin till the age of 47. Only he didn't lose his virginity, at that age, he dropped dead in the shower.

Snorted wine!!!

I'm sorry for your friend, but that was a real surprise...
Title: Re: 26 year old virgin.
Post by: Baruch on March 25, 2017, 09:10:09 AM
Snorted wine!!!

I'm sorry for your friend, but that was a real surprise...

The degree of surprise depends on what he was doing in the shower ;-)